


mine eye and heart are at a mortal war

by mnemosyne_musings



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Festive fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnemosyne_musings/pseuds/mnemosyne_musings
Summary: Care for some Christmas shopping? XThe Doctor stared at the message in front of him. Five words followed by a set of coordinates. A smile started to curl his lips involuntarily.“Well,” he said to himself, his feet already carrying him back towards the console, “I suppose a bit of Christmas shopping wouldn’t hurt.”
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/River Song, Tenth Doctor/River Song, The Doctor/River Song
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	mine eye and heart are at a mortal war

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in a slightly sleep-deprived funk after listening to the latest 10/river audios!

_Care for some Christmas shopping? X_

The Doctor stared at the message in front of him. Five words followed by a set of coordinates. A smile started to curl his lips involuntarily.

“Well,” he said to himself, his feet already carrying him back towards the console, “I suppose a bit of Christmas shopping wouldn’t hurt.”

Pulling down the levers as the TARDIS dematerialised and hurtled through the vortex, he allowed himself a brief glance in the mirror. Just to check his tie. And his hair. Because it wouldn’t do to look too scruffy for festive shopping. That was all.

Pushing those thoughts aside as the TARDIS landed, he idly wondered what else River would have in store for him. She didn’t quite seem like the type of person to just summon him for a spot of festive shopping. No, there must be something else happening he decided as he strode over to the door. Funny how that thought was not nearly as terrifying as it had been after he’d first met her.

He pulled open the door and stepped out, looking around him. He’d landed in a snow-covered alley in what looked like a corner of an enormous open-air Christmas market. Stepping outside and shutting the door, he took a few steps, glancing around him more closely.

He spotted her almost immediately. The first stall was a bar serving various festive concoctions by the looks of things. She was perched on a barstool at the end, sipping from a cocktail glass and flicking idly through her diary.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he suppressed the grin that had spread automatically over his face and sauntered forward.

“Rivah!” he called out as he approached.

She turned at that and he hesitated for a moment as he was sure he caught just the tiniest flash of disappointment across her face before it vanished and was replaced by a smile.

“Doctor,” she replied, “Fancy seeing you here!”

He shook himself mentally as he approached her. Surely, he had just imagined that. She’d always been pleased to see this version of him before. Well, apart from that first time but… No, he didn’t think about that. Not now.

He paused a few feet away as she stood up gracefully from the barstool. She was wearing a dark blue trench coat, cinched tight across her waist with the collar turned up against the chill in the air. As she stashed her diary away in a pocket, his gaze took in the blood red high heels she was wearing. Not quite the footwear he’d expected for Christmas shopping but if anyone could browse in sky-high heels, he suspected the woman in front of him was it.

As if sensing his train of thought, River gave a nonchalant shrug. “I’ve just come from a party,” she said by way of explanation, “Shall we?” she added, nodding to the market.

Looking around him in more detail as they started to wander among the stalls, the Doctor took a deep sniff of the crisp air.

“Is this…” he mumbled, before sticking his tongue out, “Is this Arctos IV?”

“Yes, it is,” River nodded, “Biggest Christmas market this side of the galaxy. Best spot for some last-minute shopping!”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. “It’s also home to the largest collection of precious jewellery in this side of the galaxy.”

“Is it?” River asked, her face a picture of innocence.

He paused in his stride and grasped her elbow, pulling her around to face him slightly. “River, is that why you’re here?” he asked her as she rolled her eyes at him, “These jewels are not something to be trifled with.”

“Doctor dear,” she replied with another roll of her eyes, “I am not here to drag you into a jewel heist. Now, come along. I want to look at the tree decorations.”

However, it appeared that someone else was on a jewel heist at that particular time. That and a subsequent stand-off and misunderstanding between the local constabulary and three hours later, the Doctor found himself in a small holding cell with River Song in the local jail.

Pacing the small cell, he tugged at his collar. Unlike most jails, this one seemed particularly warm. Not that River seemed terribly affected, still bundled up in her trench coat and looking rather nonchalant despite their predicament.

“Are you _sure_ you didn’t have anything to do with this?” he asked her again as he futilely rattled the door which remained firmly bolted. River simply arched an eyebrow at him in response and he felt a faint thrill of irritation run through him at the gesture. Ever since he had arrived, he had struggled to shake off the slight niggly feeling at the back of his mind that he wasn’t quite the version of himself that River had had in mind when she sent the note.

He raked his gaze over her as she leaned against the dirty prison wall, casually inspecting her nails. Well, he thought indignantly, he didn’t have to put up with this attitude. He had plenty of other things he could be doing.

“Why did you really summon me here anyway?” he demanded, watching her closely as she flicked her gaze up towards him, “You haven’t done any Christmas shopping.”

River looked up at him for a long moment, her head tilted slightly to one side before she finally answered. “I wanted to give you your Christmas present.”

He perked up at that. “A present?”

She reached into her pocket and retrieved something before chucking it to him.

“A snow-globe?” he said, slightly nonplussed as he looked at the fairly ordinary, small orb in his hands, “Well, that’s…umm, that’s lovely.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” River murmured with a faint smirk playing around her lips.

There was something about her tone that made him pause and look at her again, his gaze dropping to her midriff as she subconsciously smoothed a hand over the fabric of her coat. Stalking towards her, he crowded her space as she looked up at him in surprise.

“Don’t lie to me River,” he warned, his voice dropping lower as he leaned in further, “What’s really going on?”

“Nothing, I…”

“I _don’t_ believe you,” he cut in as she blinked up at him, a look of irritation passing ever so briefly over her features before vanishing, “This _is_ something to do with those jewels going missing isn’t it?”

“No, Doctor! Now, I admit, that the timing doesn’t look great, but…”

“You’ve stashed it under that coat, haven’t you?” he interrupted triumphantly, leaning further into her personal space, “That’s why you won’t take it off!”

She rolled her eyes at him, this time doing little to disguise the look of annoyance on her face.

“No!” she insisted, “I have not.”

“Prove it!” the Doctor retorted smugly, leaning one palm on the wall next to her head. A feeling of satisfaction rose inside him as she glared outright back at him. He wasn’t quite sure who River Song was, although he had more than a sneaking suspicion, but she clearly didn’t know him quite as well as she claimed if she thought she could pull a fast one on him like this. “Take it off!”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to!”

“Funny that,” he glared back at her now, “You know, I don’t appreciate this, River. I don’t know what I do in the future that makes you think you can just click you fingers and I’ll appear to do your bidding but let me tell you…”

“Fine!” she snapped suddenly, cutting off his rant just as he was building up a head of steam, “But on your own head be it and don’t you _dare_ tell me off for this when you’re older!”

“When I’m older?” he frowned at her in confusion as her hand moved to the belt on her coat, “Why would I tell you off when I’m…” he trailed off as she untied the belt and let her coat hang open, “Oh!”

He felt his mouth go dry immediately as his gaze dropped. Instead of a fancy cocktail dress that he’d been expecting, she was instead dressed only in a matching ruby red, lacy bra and knickers, both adorned with a tiny bow in the shape of a sprig of holly. He swallowed heavily as his eyes traced greedily over the curves of her body and down to the high heels on her feet, his trousers starting to tighten uncomfortably. Good gods, but she was perfect. Not even his imagination on lonely nights had managed to conjure up this vision accurately.

“Merry Christmas, sweetie,” River murmured huskily, a small grin playing around the edges of her lips as he finally dragged his gaze up to meet hers and she pulled her coat back around her, “Sorry for the spoilers. Now that we’ve cleared that up though,” she added, holding up her wrist and pulling the sleeve back to reveal a vortex manipulator, “How about we get out of here?”

_(Ten minutes or 250 years later)_

River let out a sigh as the lift door pinged to the penthouse suite. She had dropped the Doctor off at the TARDIS and had gently refused his stammering, blushing offer of a lift before telling him she had reserved the penthouse in the swankiest hotel and fully intended to make use of the jacuzzi en-suite and room service before sending him on his way.

She knew she had been a bit reckless to do what she’d done but she couldn’t quite bring herself to fully regret it. The look on his face as he’d realised what was really under her coat was worth it alone. She was dealing with younger and younger versions of him these days and really, who could blame a girl for trying to have a little fun when she could. It certainly made the long, lonely nights a bit more bearable.

As she entered the suite, the hair on the back of her neck prickled. There was someone else here. Her hand automatically went to the blaster in her pocket.

“Hi honey,” a familiar voice called out from behind her, “I’m ho- ho- home!”

A feeling of relief and joy washed over her. Turning round slowly, River took in the sight of her husband, lounging on the sofa, a Santa hat perched jauntily on his head. “And what time do you call this?” she asked archly, biting her lip to repress the urge to beam at him.

He leapt up from the sofa and shrugged, smirking at her. “Better late than never?” he offered with a grin as he closed the distance between them, “Now,” he said as he stopped just in front of her, “Do I finally get my Christmas present?”

River looked up at him as he gazed at her, his eyes darkening as they flitted down her body and back up again, “Well,” she murmured, reaching out and sliding her hands slowly up his chest and looping them around his neck, “That depends.”

The Doctor arched an eyebrow at her, his hands dropping to toy with the belt of her coat. “Depends on what?”

“Have you been a good boy this year or not?” she whispered huskily as she leant into him.

“Oh,” he replied with a grin as his hands worked the belt loose and her coat fell open, “I’ve been very good!”

“Well then Doctor,” she murmured as his hands snaked around her waist and pulled her against him, “Merry Christmas!”

\---


End file.
